Freshbrook Church Podcast | 07Jun26 | Living Hope | Dave Davison

Dave Davison continues our series of talks from 1 Peter - Living Hope (Following Christ as God’s people in a world that is not our home.).    

Today's passage is - 1 Peter 3: 1 - 7.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Good morning. Our Bible reading is from 1 Peter chapter 3, verses 1 to 7, and can be found on page 1219 of the Church Bible. Wives. In the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that if any of them do not believe the words, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornments such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her Lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

This morning falls to me. It was a conversation Phil and I had uh some weeks ago uh about this text, and Phil said, I've got some thoughts on that. Um, when we worked out who's going to uh speak on it, well, it's me this morning. Uh so uh Phil, in uh support of this, has produced a two sides of A4 paper titled Male Headship and the biblical context of 1 Peter 3, verses 1 to 7. And there are 10 copies of that printed at the back. Please form an orderly cue after the service if you'd like some supplementary reading on the topic. We'll we'll see if there's an orderly cue or not at all. Um, but notwithstanding whatever I say on the topic this morning, uh you might still find that valuable. I'm sure I won't cover all of it, uh, and Phil's context that's a little wider. But as I tackle the topic of this morning, it is submission in marriage, with the supplementary heading A Witness to Christ. So before I speak on this, I'm gonna ask the Lord would give me grace to communicate what I have uh what I have learned and discerned and prepared here, and give grace to you, men and women, old and young, husbands and wives, those that aspire to be one or the other, that you might have ears to hear this morning. Let us come before the Lord in prayer. Father God, this in many senses in our modern culture is a topic uh that has divided. Pray, Father God, this morning that we might capture something of the true sense of what you meant to communicate to Peter and through Peter. Pray, Father God, that you give to us each ears to hear this morning, and a heart that is soft to receive your word as it's spoken to us. May we go away, Lord God, from here, those of us who are married, with a fresh appreciation of our partners. May we each of us have a deeper love for you, and each of us a deeper lover for our significant other. Would you bless this time this morning, and would you lift us, Lord God, into the day and into the week to come? I ask now in Jesus' name. Amen. So the kind of the big idea for this morning is just to set this scene. Christian marriage is not built on. Okay, my wife is prompting me the other bit that I've forgotten. There is a handout. If you're a handout kind of person or you just want somewhere to write, uh, because you forgot to pick up a notice sheet and you can't jot on that. Chris has uh 10 or so at the back on a sheet and some pens and pencils. If you'd wave a hand gently, uh Chris, or somebody will fetch one forwards to you. Mike must be on Urban Saints this morning, otherwise, there'd be a hand up down here. So, yeah, so the big idea. Thank you, Chris. Um she's a good wife. I am already paying attention to what I want to share this morning. Christian marriage is not built on power, control, or superiority, but on a shared devotion to Christ expressed through willing submission, sacrificial honor, and a desire to help one another follow Jesus. If there is one passage in one Peter that makes modern readers nervous, it is probably this one. Words like submission and headship often sound to modern ears like oppression, inequality, or control. Some people assume that Peter is simply reflecting the sexism of the ancient world. Others have sadly seen these verses misused to justify unhealthy or even abusive relationships. So before we begin, let us be clear. Peter is not teaching that women are inferior to men. He is not excusing abuse, he is not giving husbands permission to dominate. Rather, he is showing what Christ-shaped discipleship looks like inside a marriage. We've already looked at the theme of submission in the context of citizens and governments, as we considered life under Nero and what it means to live under oppressive regimes. Then servants and masters, as we considered the dynamic of living in a culture where household slaves and service were very much the order of the day. Now we will look at husbands and wives. As is indicated by his use of the phrase in the same way in verse 1, Peter is still answering the same question. How do Christians live faithfully in a society that does not share their values? So, submission then is about witness and not worth, verses one and two of our text this morning. As we come to uh verse one of our text, let us remind ourselves of the overriding directive in all these submission passages, as it's stated in 1 Peter chapter 2, verse 21, which says, To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his footsteps or in his steps. The model Peter has just given in his letter is not Roman, is not to Roman culture, but to Jesus Himself. Christ entrusted himself to the Father, and now Peter calls Christian wives to exhibit that same trust in God. 1 Peter chapter 3, verse 1 and 2. Peter, notice what Peter says, wives in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands. So, in the same way here, does not only connect wives to the previous passages on submission, but also connects them personally to Christ and to his example. Then did you notice the caveat on submission? It is to be to their own husbands, not all men, and not all women to men, but wives in the context of their marriage. But more specifically than that, Peter is addressing this to Christian wives with unbelieving husbands. That unbelief could be most obviously that the husband does not know Christ as his Lord and his Savior. But it has the wider interpretation of a husband who is not living in accordance with a faith that he might profess to believe. Why does Peter say they should submit? Peter answers, so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives. This is astonishing. Peter recognizes that one of the most significant places a Christian woman bears witness to Christ is within her own marriage. The emphasis is not submit because he is more important. The emphasis is live in such a Christ-like way that he encounters Jesus through you. And that fits perfectly with the wider flow of the letter in 1 Peter, where in chapter 2, verse 12, Peter said, live such good lives among unbelievers. And verses 13 to 17, and before governing authorities. And then in 18 to 25, as John took us last week, before masters. And then this morning in verses 1 to 6, before unbelieving husbands. In each case, Peter is asking, how can Christ be seen through your conduct rather than how can you secure your rights? The whole section is about witness. So the application here is not just to wives. Whilst, of course, the immediate context is wives to husbands, the overarching context is still our Christian witness in an unbelieving world. So it is for all Christians. People are rarely argued into the kingdom. You've likely discovered that yourselves people are more often loved into it. So if you tried arguing and failed, why not try loving folks towards Jesus? And then in the second part we'll be looking at true beauty begins in the heart. And we're looking at verses three to six. Peter continues, verse three, your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. Peter contrasts external beauty with internal beauty. He's not saying that elaborate hairstyles, braided or otherwise, or the wearing of gold jewellery is wrong any more than he is saying it is wrong to wear clothes. We all get dressed in the morning. Sometimes we make a special effort. We all occasionally visit the hairdresser or barbers, sometimes so that we can see out past a long fringe if that's a problem for you, not so for others, and sometimes so that we can be seen out rather than appearing as a scruff. Most of us wear some kind of jewelry, a wedding ring, even if it doesn't any longer fit on the right finger, or an eternity ring if you've been together that long. In the story Jesus told of the prodigal son, the father put a ring on the finger of his returning son as a sign of being restored to the family. Whilst we might first be attracted to external beauty, it is ultimately that we fall in love with internal beauty. The key verse in the section is this, in verse 4, rather, it should be that it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. The same word gentle is used by Jesus Himself, for I am gentle and humble in heart. Matthew 11, 29, and you can read that verse on our theme text for the year on the wall behind me. Therefore, gentleness is not weakness, it is Christ's likeness. Likewise, quiet does not mean silent. It means peaceful. Secure, tranquil. Peter is not describing a woman who is afraid to speak. He is describing a woman who is secure enough in Christ that she does not need to prove herself constantly. And then verse five. So then Peter looks back to women from the past as an example to those in the present. He uses the example of Sarah. Peter explicitly says that the unfading beauty of such women was seen in those who put their hope in God. That is the controlling principle. It is not fear, it is not passivity, it is hope in God. Sarah's submission flowed from confidence in God, not in Abraham. Peter refers in that section to Genesis 18, verse 12. And if you look back, you'll see it's where Sarah laughed at the idea of having a child by her husband, whom she calls her Lord in their old age. And Lord, there where it is used is a title of respect, not of worship. It's a title of Sarah's respect for her husband, not her worship of him. And then lastly, thirdly, this section I'm called husbands are called to honor and not dominate, verse seven. Before we move on, let us take stock for a moment. We have just spent some time considering the submission of a Christian wife to an unbelieving husband. There are six verses on that theme. Now Peter comes to address husbands. There is just one verse. You might be tempted to think that Peter cares more about the conduct of wives than their husbands. You would be mistaken. The single verse directed at husbands is remarkably radical. Let me read it to you. Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner, and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. Husbands lean in. Peter says, live with your wives in a considerate way. That's what we have here in the NIV. But the ESV more helpfully renders it in an understanding way. The literal translation of this text is according to knowledge. So that means, husbands, according to knowledge, you are to know your wife, to understand her, to study her, to care for her, to serve her, encourage her, and help her flourish. I'm going to read that list again. Husbands, you might like to turn and look at your wife. You might like to sneakily hold her hand. You might just like psychologically to be looking at her for fear of being spotted. But this is to be the context of your relationship with her. You are to know her, to understand her, to study her, to care for her, to serve her, to encourage her, to help her flourish. Then the NIV has treat them with respect. But that rendering of the original Greek loses some of the power of the command, which is picked up more clearly again in the ESV. The ESV renders this showing honor. Showing honor. Honor is stronger than what we understand by the word respect. Honor means husbands to value, to cherish, to treasures, to treasure. Husbands specifically, and to you men who are not yet married but desire to be, are you beginning to get a sense of the weight of this single verse? Your call is not to rule your wives, but to understand and honor them. Let the truth of that be a reality in your life. Peter adds that husbands are to honour their wives as the weaker partner. Peter is not saying that they are spiritually inferior, nor is he speaking of their intelligence, nor of their worth, nor of competence. Men and women are equally created in God's image. Read that in Genesis 1 26 and 27. By weaker. Peter is most likely recognizing the greater physical vulnerability of women in the ancient world, and to a greater or lesser extent, it's the same today. So husbands are to honour their wives as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life. That is the theological bombshell. In Christ, wives have spiritual equality before God, equal standing in salvation, equal inheritance in Christ. A husband and wife stand together before God as fellow heirs. That is a profound statement in a culture where women often had significantly lower social status. Peter closes verse 7 with this startling warning to husbands. You are to treat your wives rightly, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. Notice how seriously God takes the treatment of wives. Peter does not merely say that a husband who dishonours his wife damages his marriage. He says it affects his relationship with God. God is so concerned that husbands honour their wives that Peter says failure here can hinder a man's prayers. So as I draw to a close, I want to make this kind of necessary pastoral clarification. One which I would hope would go without saying, but I'll say it just in case. This passage is not permission for abuse. Submission never requires participation in sin, nor does it require enduring ongoing violence or coercion. Any husband who uses Scripture to justify abuse is acting against the very command that Peter gives here. Peter commands husbands to honor their wives, not control them, not frighten them, not diminish them. So as I conclude, keep Christ at the center. Peter never intended marriage to be viewed in isolation from the rest of life. Marriage is another place where the gospel becomes visible. In this passage, Peter is not asking who has the power. He is asking how can Christ be seen. A wife displays Christ through willing, courageous trust in God. A husband displays Christ through understanding, honoring, and sacrificial care. Neither is called to selfishness. Both are called to Christ likeness. The world teaches us to ask, what are my rights? Peter teaches us to ask, how can I reflect Jesus? Because Christian marriage is not ultimately about winning. It is about witnessing. It is not about power, it is about Christ. Let that settle with you for a moment. May God bless it to us today and in our life before.